There is no hope unmingled with fear, and no fear unmingled with hope. – Baruch Spinoza
Hope and Fear were childhood friends; they followed me everywhere…they still do!
Hope was the one who encouraged me to try new things, to let go of the past when it was holding me back, and to persevere in the face of adversity. Fear, on the other hand, advised me to resist change, to embrace the past, and to avoid failure by running away.
When it became clear to Fear that I preferred the company of Hope, he became a threatening bully. My methods of self-defense ranged from anger and resentment, to arbitration and acquiescence. If all else failed, I simply denied that Fear existed. When this happened, Fear rolled up his sleeves and beat me unmercifully until I admitted that he, like, Hope, was my friend.
As I grew older, I assumed that Fear would be easier to handle. I was mistaken.
He was clever, sophisticated, and Machiavellian. He could be protective, provocative, or intimidating, and he could assume a variety of names and faces to confuse, intimidate, or paralyze me. As we became more intimate, I learned that he wore many disguises, and that he had spawned dozens of children. –Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”
Hope and Fear are major themes that run through my memoir, “I’m Afraid: The Anatomy of a Disability and The Role of Fear and All of His Children,” from beginning to end.
If you have ever been afraid, I encourage you to read this compelling story of my intimate relationship with Hope and Fear.
If you have never been afraid, I suggest you read it twice.
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The saga continues in my next blog.
Do Not Be Afraid!!!