I really believe that all of us have a lot of darkness in our souls. Anger, rage, fear, sadness. I don’t think that’s only reserved for people who have horrible upbringings. I think it really exists and is part of the human condition. I think in the course of your life you figure out ways to deal with that. – Kevin Bacon

 My last blog, posted on 7/18/16, dealt with Big Things and Little Things. Today’s blog continues in that vein:

Disability: the loss of a practice; the end of a career. These were Big things. Any one of them standing alone represented a formidable opponent. Together, they created an army against which I possessed few weapons. But at least I could see them, touch them, and wrestle with them. Unlike the Little things that made my stomach churn, my palms sweat, and my self‑confidence disappear. Little things like annoyance, impatience, anger, and fear. – Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”

During the years I spent writing and rewriting my memoir I wrote a number of poems, some of which appear in “I’m Afraid.”

 When I sat down to write these poems, I had no idea what I was going to say. I wrote only to relieve the pain that I felt inside. For ten months I had been suppressing fear, anger, even joy. I felt like a pressure cooker waiting to explode. But that was nothing new.

I had been stuffing my emotions for forty years, and had managed to keep the lid on the pressure cooker by blowing off steam periodically, but not always in positive ways.

I realized I no longer could continue to deny my emotions or try to hold them hostage. The pressure was too intense, and the release valve inadequate. I needed to laugh, to cry, and to be angry in a healthy, acceptable way. Poetry became one of those ways. – Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”

 I offer these thoughts for your consideration.

Welcome to my World!

The saga continues in my next blog.

Do not be Afraid!!!