You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. – Eleanor Roosevelt
The last place I expected to find myself that day in June of 1984 was sitting on the edge of a bed in a psychiatric hospital-that day, or any other day.
As my treatment slowly began to calm my racing thoughts and re-introduce me to reality, Fear unexpectedly took a backseat to my inherent determination to take control of my situation.
By the time the nurse returned, my mind was once again flooded with thoughts. He brought a technician with him to draw some of my blood. Before they left, the nurse handed me a small cup with some pills in it.
“Take these,” he said. “They will help slow down those racing thoughts you’ve been having. I’ll check in on you again in an hour.”
The next three days were consumed with blood tests, meetings with social workers and nurses, and pacing. Mostly pacing.
I could not sleep. My energy level seemed to be inexhaustible, despite the fact that I had not had more than three or four consecutive hours of sleep in over three months.
The medication that the nurse gave me the first night was the initial step in my treatment. The drug of choice was lithium. It is not known precisely what it does to stabilize mood swings, but it works. About eighty-five percent of manic patients respond to it, and I was one of them.
Counseling and therapy were also an important part of the treatment. There were group sessions as well as individual meetings. Once my lithium blood level stabilized, and my thoughts became clearer and more rational, I was determined to do whatever was necessary to get well. – Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”
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The saga continues in my next blog.
Do Not Be Afraid!!!