Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. – Robert Frost
The stress of losing my career and trying to sell my dental practice were compounded by bipolar disorder and cerebellitis. To state it mildly, Fear and all of his children were running amok in an effort to transform me into a mental and emotional basketcase.
I desperately needed a way of releasing the pressure and relieving the pain.
My wife, Laura, and I were meeting with a social worker helping us deal with my disabilities. He suggested writing poetry as a means of unearthing my suppressed feelings. I was reluctant at first until one day, by chance a Friday the 13th in October, I was compelled to grab a pen and sheet of paper and unleash what was hidden inside me.
Apparently there were emotions and issues lying dormant in my unconscious mind that I was suppressing, denying, or failing to address. Writing this poem seemed to wake them up. Not knowing whether to be excited or afraid, I continued to write many poems that autumn and most of them, like the first one, were anxious to be written. – Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”
When I sat down to write these poems, I had no idea what I was going to say. I wrote only to relieve the pain that I felt inside. For ten months I had been suppressing fear, anger, even joy. I felt like a pressure cooker waiting to explode. But that was nothing new.
I had been stuffing my emotions for forty years, and had managed to keep the lid on the pressure cooker by blowing off steam periodically, but not always in positive ways.
I realized I no longer could continue to deny my emotions or try to hold them hostage. The pressure was too intense, and the release valve inadequate. I needed to laugh, to cry, and to be angry in a healthy, acceptable way. Poetry became one of those ways. – Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”
I am able to communicate my thoughts and feelings more candidly and succinctly through the written word rather than through verbalization.
At times, I cannot express myself adequately through the use of prose; sometimes, poetry is the only way to get at the heart of the matter.
That is why I included several of my poems in my memoir.
I offer these thoughts for your consideration.
Communication, I believe, is the key to understanding one another.
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The saga continues in my next blog.
Do Not Be Afraid!!!