Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us. – Charlotte Bronte
When I was thirty-six-years-old, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder; four years later, cerebellitis was added to my medical history.
Either illness, standing alone, was a life-changing event; together, they turned my world upside down.
Fortifying myself to confront these two adversaries required not only mental and physical strength and discipline, but also a whole host of weapons to wield against them; sometimes, I refer to them as my quiver of arrows.
Patience and humility are counted among them. But, at times, additional reserves are needed.
Patience and humility became my constant companions. It was not their job to make me virtuous; it was their job to get me through the day. Trying to live one day at a time helped, but it was not always enough. Sometimes it was necessary to live one hour or one minute at a time. It was then that I enlisted good humor…to aid in my cause.
Good humor was more than a sense of humor. It was cheerfulness and a willingness to help or cooperate with others, regardless of my personal desires or moods.
But when I was impatient, desperate to be in control, mistrustful, or insecure, I often could not change the way I felt. The harder I struggled against these feelings, the stronger they became.
When all else failed, I threw up my hands in frustrated surrender. It was not the best choice, but sometimes it was the only choice. – Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”
Fear is a formidable opponent: he wears an array of disguises; he has spawned countless children; at times, he blatantly and threateningly stands in the light of day, but more often prefers the dark shadows of the mind; indisputably, he is Machiavellian.
Combating such an adversary demands stamina, strength, perseverance, and help.
And, a quiver of arrows.
I offer these thoughts for your consideration.
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The saga continues in my next blog.
Do Not Be Afraid!!!