Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes. – Hugh Prather
At the end of my first year in college, I found myself on the horns of a dilemma.
A fear of change led to worry, guilt, and indecision.
These feelings were not new to me, but they never seemed to get any easier to deal with, especially in the years to come.
My inner conflict dealt with a potential alteration in the path of my future career.
The key to my future lay hidden somewhere in the science building, or so I thought. Although biology was interesting, I struggled with chemistry, and I was convinced that only Einstein understood physics.
Across the street stood the Liberal Arts building where history, philosophy, and literature captured my attention and true interest.
Perhaps I should have trusted my instincts, but I believed that if I accepted the possibility that I was heading down the wrong path, I would be faced with explaining my new position to my father; admitting that I still was not sure what I wanted to do with my life; and, worst of all, be seen as a quitter.
Had I been wiser and more courageous, I would have realized that my father cared more about me than what I became; that indecision often is a decision; and that a change of mind or attitude is not synonymous with failure.
But even a simple alteration in course seemed to me like trying to alter the path of the earth around the sun. – Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”
Standing in front of me was a formidable trio: Fear, Worry and Guilt.
I did not cross the street; I returned to the science building.
I felt as if I had lost another battle, but I was determined to make the best of it.
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The saga continues in my next blog.
Do Not Be Afraid!!!