Never let the fear of striking out get in your way. – Babe Ruth
In my last blog, Doing It Afraid, I wrote about coming face-to-face with a particular fear and acting in spite of it. Today’s blog tells a different story.
After spending a month in the hospital being diagnosed and treated for cerebellitis, I was released and Laura and I moved in with my mother temporarily; they both agreed that I should not be left alone while Laura was at school teaching.
In the hospital, sponge baths were the order of the day; at home, I was limited to taking baths for fear that I would lose my balance, slip, and fall in the downstairs shower stall.
I was dying to take a shower. I had not taken one in a month and a half, and I was sick of baths. But, with no one else in the house, I knew it was a foolish idea. It was out of the question.
I went to the bedroom for some clean clothes. I wrapped a fresh shirt and a pair of sweatpants around my neck, and stuffed underwear and socks into my waistband. I knew I looked ridiculous, but I did not know how else to use my walker and carry my clothes at the same time.
When I got to the stairs, I put the walker to one side and turned to go down. I froze. The twelve steps suddenly looked like twenty‑four. I was sure my legs would collapse after the first step.
Carefully, I turned, put my hand on the walker, and closed the stairway door. I returned the clothes to the bedroom and sat on the living room couch. My body was trembling. – Excerpts from “I’m Afraid”
In this instance, I again came face-to- face with the same fear of falling; this time it was I, not fear, who blinked.
My stubborn determination to prove my independence had been successful many times in my life, but this was not one of those times.
Ironically, Fear won that day but in the process probably saved my life; or, at least, prevented me from suffering significant injury.
I would learn much more about the nature of Fear in the coming years when I was at bat and he was standing on the pitcher’s mound.
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The saga continues in my next blog.
Do Not Be Afraid!!!