Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays. – Soren Kierkegaard
Last week’s blog dealt with the evolution of my image of God.
In Catholic grade school, I obediently believed what I was told and recited the traditional prayers taught to me.
In Jesuit high school, I questioned what I had been told; although I continued with traditional prayers, they soon took on a much more personal dimension.
Beginning in college, my perception of God changed again.
From my late teens and into my early thirties, I virtually abandoned formal religion and developed my own relationship with the Supreme Being. Sometimes my attitude was casual and noncommittal. At other times I had so many questions and so few answers that I became frustrated and confused. I wondered if God existed at all. – Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”
This attitude prevailed for years along with the questions, doubts, and frustrations that never seemed to be resolved.
Nevertheless, in the midst of this morass a battered and bruised faith in God managed to survive; it was not too long before it once again got my attention.
It was after my first significant encounter with manic depression in 1984 that I began to think more seriously about God. Although fear was primarily responsible for the changes I made in my life, it did occur to me that maybe, just maybe, God had something to do with it, too. I tried praying, but my impatient, often desperate, desire for answers seemed to be ignored. – Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”
This time I did not abandon my faith; this time, I left the questions, doubts, and frustrations behind; this time, I realized that it was not God who must change; it was I.
Although my initial attempts to return to God seemed to be of no avail, I came to the conclusion that since I had ignored Him for twenty years, it might not be so easy to renew our relationship. – Excerpt from “I’m Afraid”
It has not been easy; nor does it continue to be.
I offer these thoughts for your consideration.
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The saga continues in my next blog.
Do Not Be Afraid!!!
We continue to grow and change as we experience life. Easter becomes the “most important holiday” on the Christian calendar replacing our child love of Christmas. The promise of Christmas is fulfilled. The generous gift of forgiveness is more significant than those “ice skates and toys.” Are we wise enough to accept this gift?
The women you met at The Century Club are still commenting on your presentation now that they have read the book. Let’s be filled with JOY,. Thank you, Kurt
Dear Janet,
Thank you for your profound comment and the very appreciated news about the women at The Century Club.
Please do post more comments on this website and encourage your friends to do so, too!